Is It Wrong In Every Case to Cuss?

Question:  A lot of people quote Ephesians 4:29 when they tell me cussing is a sin, but it doesn’t say cussing its talking about corrupt speech.  I always thought that means verbally going off on someone to make them feel like crud. I didn’t think it was referring to cussing, and the individual who told me this really laid it on thick.  I haven’t even said I dreamed a dream to my mom in a long time cuz it has the word h**l in it, but does the bible really tell us not to cuss?

Now don’t get me wrong I try not to use foul language especially with people but I mean like for those who sing or act, if it is in the lyrics or script would it then be acceptable since you’re not going off on someone? I guess for this one I just wonder what is scriptural and what is just going overboard.  I know a lot of Christian actors or singers who have a hard time choosing if it would be okay in that instance or not.

Answer:  What is the purpose of using cuss words? To shock, to shut someone up, to inflict pain? Does that comport with Paul’s instructions in Ephesians 4:29 to only let words that build others up to come from your mouth? Now an actor, portraying someone who cusses might be a different issue since the role is seeking to communicate a message about how people interact or whatever. But some uses of cuss words are completely gratuitous and unnecessary and it is questionable whether believers should put themselves in such movies. This too is not an open and shut case.

Question:  But I don’t know if I’m just dumb or what but the whole Ephesians 4:29 still feels wrong.  I mean I was raised to see words as just words unless you put your intent behind them.  For instance if I cuss someone out and make them feel like crud then yes it goes against that scripture, but what about if I cuss in a joke to make a friend feel better or sometimes a motivational speech had a cuss word in it.  Now I don’t know if I’m alone in this but a cuss word is meant to portray a stronger emotion either good or bad. I have never thought that cuss words were inherently bad. Am I wrong?

Plus, what is and is not a bad word is cultural also, so I mean take the word bloody for instance to me it means nothing, but if I go to England is basically like saying d**n or the F bomb.

I honestly don’t mean to be argumentative but I just don’t understand how we can take this scripture and apply it to certain sets of words that our society has decided are bad over time, I mean am I wrong in thinking that Ephesians is referring to how you use words? Cuz like I pointed out even a supposedly bad word can be very edifying if used properly.

Answer:  You are not wrong, there is nothing inherently wrong in most of the words we have designated cuss words. I can see the situation you are talking about when a cuss word might actually cheer a friend. It is all about intent and purpose. Perhaps the only reason a cuss word would cheer a friend is because our culture has chosen to express emotion that way. This might suggest that we are bad at communicating emotion or that there are just certain emotions that demand a harsh word. Words that denote a sexual act may fall into a different category in that we are treating something precious as crude. Maybe it is better that we overcome our derogatory views of sexuality than submit to a cultural usage in that case.

You are being discerning and I think that is the mark of a Christian. We don’t conform to the world if the world is portraying a wrong perspective, but there are still beautiful and valuable aspects to our world’s cultures that we can endorse. It is God’s common grace to all (Matt 5:45-48) that enables human beings to do good despite ourselves.

Related articles

• The F-Word (momof3isnuts.wordpress.com)
• Good Christian… Bad Christian? (andrewpearle.wordpress.com)
• Douglas Wilson video interview on using profanity in writing: http://www.canonwired.com/featured/cussing/

How Do You Bring an Atheist to Christ?

Question:  How in the world do you bring an atheist to Christ?  I know you should pray for the right words but just wanted your thoughts on this.

Answer:  Bringing an atheist to Christ is just like bringing anyone to Christ.  I love the book “I Once Was Lost” by Everts and Schaupp.  It is a brilliant work based on a lot of experience in evangelism on college campuses.  Let me summarize.

Everyone must cross 5 thresholds to become a Christian.

First, they must come to trust a Christian.  If the non-Christian is to you simply a notch to put on your belt, you will not be trustworthy.  But if you love that person no matter what decision they make about Christ then they can trust you.

Second, they must be curious about Jesus.  Many non-Christians have some knowledge of Jesus and would like some questions about Him answered.  This is a first step toward genuine seeking.

Third, they must be open to radical life change.  Embracing the message of Jesus will require a complete alteration of one’s life.  When a non-Christian begins to understand the meaning of the gospel they will see how it will require radical life change.

Fourth, they must become genuine seekers of God.  They must really want to know the truth and how it affects them.

Fifth, they must believe.

An atheist claims there is no God.  What is their evidence for this belief?  Being willing to engage them on this would be a first step for you in building a trust relationship.  It will take some time because these lines of evidence are not quickly evaluated and answered.  Perhaps as the atheist sees your genuine love for him or her there will be a curiosity developed about why you are who you are and what role Jesus plays in that.  If the atheist is able to see that his or her view does not answer life’s most basic questions he or she might be open to radical life change.  If they become genuine seekers you might be instrumental in helping them through this process of seeking.  And finally you might help challenge them to get off the fence and believe.

We’re talking about a long term commitment to a person with genuine love and a readiness to engage in difficult discussions.  And yes, it will require prayer for the right words and the right heart toward this person.

What is the value of water baptism?

Question:  What is the purpose of water baptism? Is it a sign of the believer’s covenant  with the Lord, similar to circumcision? At the very least, it seems valuable to me as a   tangible memory or similar to building an altar of remembrance of one’s new commitment to Christ. However, many today wait a long time to be baptized; this is in contrast to the New Testament times where people seemed to be baptized quickly.

Answer:  There are those who believe that water baptism is essential to salvation.  They will point to such passages as Acts 2:38 in which Peter says “repent and be baptized for the remission of sins and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit” and Acts 22:16 where Ananias instructs Paul to “be baptized and wash away your sins.”  But Paul makes it clear in 1 Corinthians 1:13-17 that this is not the case.  He writes:

Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Were you baptized in the name of Paul? I thank God that I did not baptize any of you except Crispus and Gaius, so no one can say that you were baptized in my name.  (Yes, I also baptized the household of Stephanas; beyond that, I don’t remember if I baptized anyone else.)  For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel—not with wisdom and eloquence, lest the cross of Christ be emptied of its power.

If baptism was essential to salvation, Paul could not and should not have separated it from preaching the gospel.  Christ, indeed, would have sent him to baptize if it were required.

But if it is not essential for salvation, or doesn’t actually wash away sins, then what does it do?  And I believe it does what you suggested.  It is a symbol that is an aid to faith.  Faith is what saves us, is what washes away our sins, but baptism gives visible and tactile expression to that faith.  Human beings need to give such expression to our inward beliefs to help solidify them in our souls.

In addition, the outward demonstration of faith given in baptism helps others to be more aware of our faith and acts as an encouragement to their own faith.  The Bible does not emphasize this but it is a reality.  And you are correct that normally new believers were almost immediately baptized upon conversion.  This did not always give much opportunity for a crowd to gather.  So the symbol is much more for the believer than for his or her fellow Christians.

However, there is nothing that says we must be baptized immediately.  The early church began a process of teaching new converts to ascertain whether they were genuine followers of Christ before baptizing them.  This seems to go too much counter to the New Testament example.  But for us to make it a part of a community worship opportunity seems a judicious use of the symbol to help everyone rejoice with the new convert.

Randall Johnson

Other articles on baptism:

Is the Mode of Baptism Inconsequential?

What Does Your Church Believe About Baptism?

The Christian and Alcohol

Question:  I like to enjoy a beer or drink every once in a while, but many Christians don’t drink at all and it makes me wonder if I am sinning by drinking. 

Answer:  The Bible is very clear that drunkenness is a sin (Proverbs 20:1; 23:20,21, 29-35;31:4,5; Galatians 5:21; Ephesians 5:18, which associate drunkenness with poverty, injustice and poor decision making), but the Bible nowhere commends complete abstinence. 

It does teach that “the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit” (Romans 14:17), meaning that if the indulgence of our freedom in these matters encourages another believer to violate his conscience and sin it is better to give up our freedoms.  Paul deals with this issue both in Romans 14 and at length in 1 Corinthians 8-10.  If my conscience doesn’t condemn me on an issue God has given no command on, I am free to follow my conscience.  If my conscience tells me it is wrong, even though God does not, for me it is as if I have sinned against God by sinning against my conscience and I should not do what my conscience condemns.  If my conscience becomes free at some point in this area, I can change my behavior. 

However, others who see me acting in a way that their own conscience condemns may, because of my example, think they should act that way, and they violate their own conscience.  I have become a negative example for them and encouraged them indirectly to sin.  This is less of an issue in other countries than it is in the United States because of our history of preaching against alcohol use and our era of failed prohibition.  Many Christians still believe it is wrong to drink any alcohol.

Related Articles

• Is it wrong to drink alcohol? (askthepastors.wordpress.com)

Questions About Personal Evangelism

Question:  I feel very uncomfortable sharing my faith with those I don’t know are Christians or not.  How do I get over this?

Answer:  I don’t know that you ever get over this.  You are facing someone with eternal issues at stake.  You are putting yourself out there as committed to a doctrine that most people find offensive.  You are risking being viewed as some fanatic for your beliefs.  You may draw persecution to yourself.  None of this should make you feel comfortable, but should instead drive you to God for help and courage.

Question:  Are there any icebreakers that seasoned Christians use?

Answer:  Yes.  Prayer for the Spirit’s wisdom is first, then looking for an entrance into conversation that can be steered toward spiritual things.  One helpful set of questions that can open doors for patient listening and potential sharing are: (1) Do you have any spiritual beliefs?  (2) Who is Jesus to you?  (3) Do you believe in a heaven or a hell?  (4) If you were to die tonight, do you think you would go to heaven or hell?  (5) If you were wrong about what you believe would you want to know it?

Another possibility is to ask the two diagnostic questions, (1) If you were to die tonight, do you know for sure that you would go to heaven? and (2) If you died and stood before God and He said, ‘Why should I let you into My heaven,’ what would you say?  Perhaps the greatest mistake we can make is thinking we have to share everything we believe every time we witness and destroy every wrong belief we hear in the person we are witnessing to.  Just asking the questions, or even just one of them, might be all God is calling you to do at the time.  Simply sharing what happened in your life might be all God is calling on you to do this time.

Question:  Why should I share my faith?  Isn’t it a personal decision to have a relationship with Christ?

Answer:  It is a personal decision to have a relationship with Christ, but the Bible tells us that those who don’t know Christ are ultimately unwilling to know the truth about Christ and will find all kinds of ways to deny the truth.  God commands us to speak the truth as we have opportunity in order to challenge the unwillingness of those who don’t know Christ.  If Jesus had not spoken to the woman who came to the well (John 4) she would not have moved toward spiritual things.

We also believe that if people don’t embrace Christ as rescuer, they won’t be rescued and will perish in eternal separation from God.  Taking an antibiotic to cure you of pneumonia is a personal decision, but if you didn’t realize you had pneumonia and that someone had an antibiotic, you would never make that personal decision, and the one who knew and had the cure would be guilty of withholding vital information.

Question:  What does Evangelical mean and what is the difference between an Evangelical and a Methodist, Baptist, Lutheran or other denomination?

Answer:  Evangelical normally means someone who holds to the authority of Scripture and its teaching that humans are lost forever unless they personally welcome God’s offer of life in Jesus Christ by renouncing their self-determination.  Evangelicals believe that it is their responsibility to share the message of life with all who don’t know it so that they may have a chance to gain eternal life.  Evangelical is not a denomination, but a Christian worldview.  A Methodist, Baptist or any other denominational Christian can be an Evangelical or not.

Question:  When should I use words to share Christ versus remaining quiet and letting my actions speak?

Answer:  Your actions should speak in every situation where you cannot speak or where the Spirit of God has not given you the prompting to speak.  But listening to the Spirit about speaking is your proper preparation and guide to speaking.

Question:  What are some practical ways to overcome the barrier of fear?

Answer:  Some suggestions…

(1) Become as practiced as you can at sharing your personal story in short or in more developed ways, (2) spend time praying for God’s prompting and wisdom for each opportunity you face, (3) become as knowledgeable as you can be about the essential elements of the gospel, and (4) do as much as you can with other Christians teaming up with you, or at least praying for you as you take opportunities for witness.

A Simple Outline For Sharing Your Personal Story of Faith

I.    How My Life Was Hopeless Before Christ
II.   How I Came to Know Christ as My Hope
III.  How My Life Is an Experience of Growing Hope Now

Books for further study:

Just a Walk Across the Room, Bill Hybels
Evangelism For the Faint-Hearted, Floyd Schneider
Permission Evangelism, Michael L. Simpson
Share Jesus Without Fear, William Fay and Linda Shepherd
Witnessing Without Fear, Bill Bright

God Space, Doug Pollock

Do I Have to Have a Gift to Do Anything Spiritual?

Question:  If I don’t have the gift of giving does that mean I don’t have to tithe? 

Answer:  Even though no one has all the gifts, all Christians are called upon in some limited capacity to utilize all the gifts.  So, for example, when I am with someone who is hurting, though my gift might be to teach them, I must also exercise mercy, encouragement, faith, healing, serving and any host of other gifts.  All Christians are to be leaders wherever they are, to be witnesses wherever they are, to teach their children and others, and to give to God’s purposes.  In other words, even though the focus of my ministry to others will be in my gifting, I need to develop some ability in all the areas of gifting.

Praying in Public

Question:  If we are not supposed to pray in public “like the hypocrites”, shouldn’t all prayer be private prayer? 

Answer:  There are many examples of public prayer in the Bible.  Jesus’ point was not to avoid praying publicly but to avoid praying publicly in order to receive praise.  We inadvertently fall into this trap when we do pray publicly because we want people to think we’re great Christians as evidenced by the way we pray.  We shouldn’t have that as our focus, but merely be focused on speaking honestly and worshipfully to God on behalf of those with whom we are praying.  Forget about how you sound to others and focus on how you sound to God.

The Posture of Prayer at Meals

Question:  Should I always bow and pray before each meal or is it okay to pray inwardly to myself, eyes open, when others are around? 

Answer:  When Jesus thanked God for the food He looked upward (Matthew 14:19).  We should not be so concerned about letting people know we pray over our meals as we are expressing thanks to God for how He provides our necessities.  Whatever you choose to do is fine.

However, I suspect you may also be dealing with feelings of embarrassment you may cause others or feel yourself when bowing in public.  It is good to be concerned for how you make others feel when you pray.  Our goal is not to make people feel uncomfortable by the way we practice our faith.  If it does make them uncomfortable it may be an issue for conversation with them, but we shouldn’t go out of our way to create discomfort.

If you are wrestling with the embarrassment of being identified as “religious” in public, that is another issue altogether.  Talk to God about why that bothers you and how He feels about it.  Ask yourself, “Why would I care if someone knew I was religious?”  Identifying with Christ was a lesson Peter had to wrestle with, also (Matthew 26:69-75).

If you are at a restaurant you can actually make it more comfortable for you and those around you by telling your waiter or waitress that you are a Christian and will be saying a prayer for your meal and asking them if they would like you to mention anything to God that they are in need of.  They’ll know why you have your head bowed if they see you doing that and it will be a way of practically ministering to them if they give you a request.

Related Articles

• Should we only ask God for something once? (askthepastors.wordpress.com)

Eloquent Prayer

Question:  Life-long Christians seem to eloquently roll out their prayers, but I really struggle with my thoughts.  Is there an effective technique to prayer? 

Answer:  No.  I’ll mention the ACTS pattern which roughly fits Jesus’ prayer-pattern in Matthew 6, sometimes referred to as the “Lord’s prayer”. The word “prayer” can encompass a number of kinds of conversations with God.  To remember the basic kinds of ways to address God, we sometimes use the acronym ACTS.  A=Adoration or praise for God, C=Confession of sin, T=Thanksgiving for forgiveness and other blessings, and S=Supplication or prayer for others and ourselves.  You will see examples of all these forms of prayer in the Bible.

But technique usually leads to or springs from a desire to make sure God hears and that He is obligated to respond.  But we know from what He says that He always hears us, regardless of how we word it, and He is eager to respond when it is good for us to get our requests.

Being more eloquent, then, is not the key to better praying. Being more honest and open is the key. If your child were to come to talk to you and began using eloquent language, but you knew he or she was hiding something from you, you would be disappointed. But even if he or she used stumbling language and yet told you exactly what was going on inside them, you would be excited because they trusted you to talk this honestly.  You would know they needed to unburden themselves and you would give them your love.

Related Articles

• Should we only ask God for something once? (askthepastors.wordpress.com)
• Talking With God (pastoralcounselingsupportarticles.wordpress.com)
• Does God answer unbelievers’ prayers? (askthepastors.wordpress.com)

How to Worship More Effectively

Question:  Do you have any ideas for how to improve the quality of my worship experience?

Answer:  Here are some tips…

Try talking to God out loud in a place where you feel free to do so without distraction.

When seemingly inappropriate thoughts come up don’t try to squelch them but rather use the opportunity to talk to God about how He wants to deal with them.

Use what you’ve read in your quiet time to speak back to God about how great He is.

Try various postures (kneeling, laying flat, standing with head toward the sky, hands raised, etc.) as a way of bringing your body into conformity with what your heart is feeling as you worship God.

Use music to stir your heart.

Let the worship of others stir your heart.

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