15 thoughts on “Contact Us With a Question or Other Comments!”
I have tried to stop but my willpower alone is not enough. I don’t feel confident enough to tell anybody else such as my parents. The stuff I took pleasure in sexually with so too bad and horrendous that I can’t tell anybody I know. I feel like I’m abusing my conscience and that I might stop even caring that what I’m doing is wrong.
There is no sin too horrendous for God to forgive. Keeping it bottled up inside more than likely gives it continued power in your life. You must bring it out into the light (1 John 1:7). You must be able to see that not only does God forgive it, but His people can, too. Find a pastor, woman’s counselor, or someone you deeply trust, and share at least some of it initially to see how they respond. If you perceive the grace of God flowing through them you will know that they are safe to share the whole story with.
No, willpower alone will not help you stop. You need the power of the Holy Spirit, mediated through His Word, and in accountability with other believers. Email me if you need more specific help.
thank you for giving me your time but i don’t think ill ever be able to tell anybody. I will try to meditate on his word. I also think I will ban myself from going on the internet to see if that helps.
Sarah, dear – I have a question for you. Does it make sense that we act on what we truly believe? (Not what we SHOULD believe, or would LIKE TO believe….but what we ACTUALLY believe?)
How are you doing with your internet ban? I hope very well. If not – try this.
Next time you are tempted to indulge in the sin, ask yourself what you are feeling. (Not the lust – right BEFORE that.) Be fearlessly honest with yourself…acknowledge the emotion. Anger? Pain? Resentment? What?
Focus on it…allow yourself to drift with the feeling to where you first felt it. In that memory: what were you believing? (Not what IS true…but what FEELS true. Generally an identity lie, such as “I am worthless”, “will never do anything right”, etc.) That is the underlying belief contributing to your ungodly behavior. Admit that to Jesus, and ask the Holy Spirit – who came to guide you into all truth – for His truth about that.
And wait on Him. (If no answer…see http://www.transformationprayer.org/history-of-transformation-prayer-ministry-previously-known-as-theophostic-prayer/
for further info on the possible hindrances, and the solutions to those (most commonly, anger/unforgiveness).
God bless your journey, my dear. Don’t give up! Jesus is FOR you, not AGAINST you – and He will help you, as you seek Him.
Dear Sarah,
As I was leaving a question, I stumbled upon yours. Read few replies also. I know all too well that good intentions and even sound Biblical answers aren’t always enough and sometimes even a bit overwhelming. So I hope I don’t add to the too much varying answers but hear I go.
Just so you know my heart goes out to you. I was in a situation five years ago, in a sexual relationship outside marriage, I was very much pleased in. I had been married a few times prior, left, abused, and much else. So I had repented many times with strength in the midst of sin, to please God. Then I met a man that I was comfortable and at ease with. I didn’t want to sin but it was so hard to turn away from experiencing something I had not yet with men I tried to do all right with before God. I turned to someone, and was slandered all over church. I’m still struggling to trust God’s People. Which I know is holding back but I would not wish on a child of God, so precious as you.
I agree with one response I read, that if you don’t let it out it will have a stronghold in your life- continued power to make your struggle worse. I agree you need to let it out. And by the way, you are brave reaching out with this the last few months. But, I also know what I hope most do not ever have to endure, reaching out to the wrong people can be damaging. Truth is people are people. They want to say all the right things and many don’t share their own struggles because they fear it makes them weak….and the cycle in this life can just be hard even within the church. No body wants to admit the messy parts. But I do. I have lived it. I do not dear sister to be fearful like myself. But, you have to know the truth. Sharing with certain people, even closest to us, is not mandatory to show your strength or trust in God. People are limited to what they know and have experienced themselves. People know not to judge but they do when they don’t “get it”. People do not get it. It is not to their fault, their understanding and even grace can be shaken when told certain struggles they don’t understand. There are gossipers with their own agenda at church too, people one can think they can trust. [By they way the gal I shared personal struggles with gossiped about others, so I should not have been so shaken when she did it to me, but…hey I was struggling, and we do not think right sometimes, right? Hence the word “struggle”.]
Yes, reach out. Be accountable. But be wise. You know the limitations of those around you and it is honest that sometimes they cannot understand. My family do not understand me or my struggles and most friends do either. I am no surface level friendship kind of gal, so my options are limited. I feel alone with God only on my side often in many seasons of life.
This is real in your life. God will never run out of love and forgiveness of the sin that ensnares. Sometimes we actually love the sin in our life and God too. I bet no one ever admitted that to you. It’s true. As a person that embraced it during a time I was completely on fire and serving Jesus, I got the wind knocked out of me. Years later I heard a pastor for the first time say, sin is desirable and pleasing, “who would do it if it wasn’t”. I am sure I was not the only one in the crowd to want to yell Amen yet I had never heard it out loud. I cannot stress enough to let you know, you are not alone. You are normal. And if, just if you share with the wrong person, and they do not react well, and leave you to feel you aren’t even saved (I have had many self righteous people in my path too) because you sin (maybe even more than once)… Shame on them for casting the stone. Not shame on you. They are the hypocrites and have bigger issues (sin issues) than you do; pity them.
Do not give up the battle to do right before God. Maybe even go to counseling if you have to get it out and confess- there are Christian counselors. And if that is a joke because of money (been there) then try to just pick a random church just to talk to a pastor or his wife- less risk than home church. My prayer is you find someone and keep trying to live life the way God wants you to. Keep looking to Him for direction, to search your innermost being and reveal why it is so big in your life. Just don’t give up trying and confessing. One day you will be delivered from it, and be able to keep setting up healthy boundaries like internet restrictions, etc. It is reminded to me the scriptures about God doesn’t give us more than we can handle, and many mess this one up. It is true. He does not give us more than we can handle with His strength, leaning on Him. In His Word, fellowship with His people [you do not have to share with the world if you do not want to], prayer alone or with others simply say ” I am struggling and need encouragement” and God will honor that- prying people need not be fulfilled.
hello thank you for all you do. I have a picture or should I say a painting of the two baby angels depicted as the Churub. My spelling might be wrong anyway is it wrong to have this painting on my wall? Also I have teo angels on each side of a frame that says… Faith, Hope and Love. I dont think there is nothing wrong with this. I do not worship these things. I this idolatry? Please I need clarification on this mater. Thank yoy
You are correct that this is not idolatry. Idolatry is an attempt to gain power over God by finding a representation of Him that shows we know His essence, His secret, if you will. He cannot be explained as a bull or a cat or any created thing, and He certainly cannot be controlled.
Depicting angels is not prohibited, since they are created things. And Israel was given a command by God to depict the cherubim on the ark of the covenant that sat in the holy of holies in the tabernacle and then the temple. I’m not sure where the idea of depicting glorious angels as babies came from, but it seems quite silly. However, you are not guilty of idolatry for having such a picture.
Thank you pastor but i feel still guilty,i promise to God and stilll i keep breaking the promise,at the strating ill be like am not doing anything wrong but at then end i feel guilty ,will God still forgive even thou ove break the promise more than 5 times ,i feel guilty i want Gpd to forgive me
Comment or Question: My husband is convinced he has a calling to go into ministry but he is verbally abusive tells me things like “Fck you b***h” or he tell me if I have a problem he will tell me that’s a personal issue all the while through this behavior he says he has a calling to be a Chaplin in between these episodes he quotes the Bible I asked him about the cussing he says”there’s cussing preachers” this can’t be right
I am so sorry to hear this. Your husband is definitely not ready to be in ministry. His use of language is an issue, but even more telling than that is the abusive way he speaks to you. 1 Timothy 3 gives the requirements or qualifications for ministers (elders). 1 Timothy 3:1–7, The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil. (ESV) These are mostly character traits that must be present in ministers and he is sadly lacking. Ministry is ministering or serving others. It is shepherding others, not telling them their issues are personal issues. May God show him light in this regard and make him a person suitable to be a minister.
Hi Kristy – Great reply from the pastor, with whom I agree, of course, since he offered the Word of God on the topic.
From experience, I might add that if you have children, they are learning how to relate from what they are seeing. Boundaries may be possible, on your part: “So, husband, do you like name-calling or sex better? Because we will be having one or the other, but not both”. (I don’t believe you are called to submit to evil.) This actually worked pretty well for one couple…at least the name-calling went away.
However, there were other abusive issues, and one of their beautiful daughters ended up dating a man who controlled her and hit her….and she stayed with him far too long, having never learned that male/female relationships are supposed to be honoring/respectful. The sons failed to learn how to rightly deal with anger; one of them was in prison before he was even out of his teens. Another has battled mental illness.
Just a heads up. If you stay, the children – and you – at the very least, need other healthy environments on a regular basis.
Ask the Pastors 
I have tried to stop but my willpower alone is not enough. I don’t feel confident enough to tell anybody else such as my parents. The stuff I took pleasure in sexually with so too bad and horrendous that I can’t tell anybody I know. I feel like I’m abusing my conscience and that I might stop even caring that what I’m doing is wrong.
There is no sin too horrendous for God to forgive. Keeping it bottled up inside more than likely gives it continued power in your life. You must bring it out into the light (1 John 1:7). You must be able to see that not only does God forgive it, but His people can, too. Find a pastor, woman’s counselor, or someone you deeply trust, and share at least some of it initially to see how they respond. If you perceive the grace of God flowing through them you will know that they are safe to share the whole story with.
No, willpower alone will not help you stop. You need the power of the Holy Spirit, mediated through His Word, and in accountability with other believers. Email me if you need more specific help.
Sounds like what i do everyday lol
thank you for giving me your time but i don’t think ill ever be able to tell anybody. I will try to meditate on his word. I also think I will ban myself from going on the internet to see if that helps.
Sarah, dear – I have a question for you. Does it make sense that we act on what we truly believe? (Not what we SHOULD believe, or would LIKE TO believe….but what we ACTUALLY believe?)
How are you doing with your internet ban? I hope very well. If not – try this.
Next time you are tempted to indulge in the sin, ask yourself what you are feeling. (Not the lust – right BEFORE that.) Be fearlessly honest with yourself…acknowledge the emotion. Anger? Pain? Resentment? What?
Focus on it…allow yourself to drift with the feeling to where you first felt it. In that memory: what were you believing? (Not what IS true…but what FEELS true. Generally an identity lie, such as “I am worthless”, “will never do anything right”, etc.) That is the underlying belief contributing to your ungodly behavior. Admit that to Jesus, and ask the Holy Spirit – who came to guide you into all truth – for His truth about that.
And wait on Him. (If no answer…see http://www.transformationprayer.org/history-of-transformation-prayer-ministry-previously-known-as-theophostic-prayer/
for further info on the possible hindrances, and the solutions to those (most commonly, anger/unforgiveness).
God bless your journey, my dear. Don’t give up! Jesus is FOR you, not AGAINST you – and He will help you, as you seek Him.
Dear Sarah,
As I was leaving a question, I stumbled upon yours. Read few replies also. I know all too well that good intentions and even sound Biblical answers aren’t always enough and sometimes even a bit overwhelming. So I hope I don’t add to the too much varying answers but hear I go.
Just so you know my heart goes out to you. I was in a situation five years ago, in a sexual relationship outside marriage, I was very much pleased in. I had been married a few times prior, left, abused, and much else. So I had repented many times with strength in the midst of sin, to please God. Then I met a man that I was comfortable and at ease with. I didn’t want to sin but it was so hard to turn away from experiencing something I had not yet with men I tried to do all right with before God. I turned to someone, and was slandered all over church. I’m still struggling to trust God’s People. Which I know is holding back but I would not wish on a child of God, so precious as you.
I agree with one response I read, that if you don’t let it out it will have a stronghold in your life- continued power to make your struggle worse. I agree you need to let it out. And by the way, you are brave reaching out with this the last few months. But, I also know what I hope most do not ever have to endure, reaching out to the wrong people can be damaging. Truth is people are people. They want to say all the right things and many don’t share their own struggles because they fear it makes them weak….and the cycle in this life can just be hard even within the church. No body wants to admit the messy parts. But I do. I have lived it. I do not dear sister to be fearful like myself. But, you have to know the truth. Sharing with certain people, even closest to us, is not mandatory to show your strength or trust in God. People are limited to what they know and have experienced themselves. People know not to judge but they do when they don’t “get it”. People do not get it. It is not to their fault, their understanding and even grace can be shaken when told certain struggles they don’t understand. There are gossipers with their own agenda at church too, people one can think they can trust. [By they way the gal I shared personal struggles with gossiped about others, so I should not have been so shaken when she did it to me, but…hey I was struggling, and we do not think right sometimes, right? Hence the word “struggle”.]
Yes, reach out. Be accountable. But be wise. You know the limitations of those around you and it is honest that sometimes they cannot understand. My family do not understand me or my struggles and most friends do either. I am no surface level friendship kind of gal, so my options are limited. I feel alone with God only on my side often in many seasons of life.
This is real in your life. God will never run out of love and forgiveness of the sin that ensnares. Sometimes we actually love the sin in our life and God too. I bet no one ever admitted that to you. It’s true. As a person that embraced it during a time I was completely on fire and serving Jesus, I got the wind knocked out of me. Years later I heard a pastor for the first time say, sin is desirable and pleasing, “who would do it if it wasn’t”. I am sure I was not the only one in the crowd to want to yell Amen yet I had never heard it out loud. I cannot stress enough to let you know, you are not alone. You are normal. And if, just if you share with the wrong person, and they do not react well, and leave you to feel you aren’t even saved (I have had many self righteous people in my path too) because you sin (maybe even more than once)… Shame on them for casting the stone. Not shame on you. They are the hypocrites and have bigger issues (sin issues) than you do; pity them.
Do not give up the battle to do right before God. Maybe even go to counseling if you have to get it out and confess- there are Christian counselors. And if that is a joke because of money (been there) then try to just pick a random church just to talk to a pastor or his wife- less risk than home church. My prayer is you find someone and keep trying to live life the way God wants you to. Keep looking to Him for direction, to search your innermost being and reveal why it is so big in your life. Just don’t give up trying and confessing. One day you will be delivered from it, and be able to keep setting up healthy boundaries like internet restrictions, etc. It is reminded to me the scriptures about God doesn’t give us more than we can handle, and many mess this one up. It is true. He does not give us more than we can handle with His strength, leaning on Him. In His Word, fellowship with His people [you do not have to share with the world if you do not want to], prayer alone or with others simply say ” I am struggling and need encouragement” and God will honor that- prying people need not be fulfilled.
hello thank you for all you do. I have a picture or should I say a painting of the two baby angels depicted as the Churub. My spelling might be wrong anyway is it wrong to have this painting on my wall? Also I have teo angels on each side of a frame that says… Faith, Hope and Love. I dont think there is nothing wrong with this. I do not worship these things. I this idolatry? Please I need clarification on this mater. Thank yoy
You are correct that this is not idolatry. Idolatry is an attempt to gain power over God by finding a representation of Him that shows we know His essence, His secret, if you will. He cannot be explained as a bull or a cat or any created thing, and He certainly cannot be controlled.
Depicting angels is not prohibited, since they are created things. And Israel was given a command by God to depict the cherubim on the ark of the covenant that sat in the holy of holies in the tabernacle and then the temple. I’m not sure where the idea of depicting glorious angels as babies came from, but it seems quite silly. However, you are not guilty of idolatry for having such a picture.
Thank you pastor but i feel still guilty,i promise to God and stilll i keep breaking the promise,at the strating ill be like am not doing anything wrong but at then end i feel guilty ,will God still forgive even thou ove break the promise more than 5 times ,i feel guilty i want Gpd to forgive me
God will still forgive anyone who truly asks for forgiveness.
If you feel guilty than get rid of what is making you feel guilty. The Holy spirit is convicting you.
Pastor ,thank you my last question is ,is it possible for you to heal my eyes,cause when am far away i cant see anything
Comment or Question: My husband is convinced he has a calling to go into ministry but he is verbally abusive tells me things like “Fck you b***h” or he tell me if I have a problem he will tell me that’s a personal issue all the while through this behavior he says he has a calling to be a Chaplin in between these episodes he quotes the Bible I asked him about the cussing he says”there’s cussing preachers” this can’t be right
I am so sorry to hear this. Your husband is definitely not ready to be in ministry. His use of language is an issue, but even more telling than that is the abusive way he speaks to you. 1 Timothy 3 gives the requirements or qualifications for ministers (elders). 1 Timothy 3:1–7, The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil. (ESV) These are mostly character traits that must be present in ministers and he is sadly lacking. Ministry is ministering or serving others. It is shepherding others, not telling them their issues are personal issues. May God show him light in this regard and make him a person suitable to be a minister.
Hi Kristy – Great reply from the pastor, with whom I agree, of course, since he offered the Word of God on the topic.
From experience, I might add that if you have children, they are learning how to relate from what they are seeing. Boundaries may be possible, on your part: “So, husband, do you like name-calling or sex better? Because we will be having one or the other, but not both”. (I don’t believe you are called to submit to evil.) This actually worked pretty well for one couple…at least the name-calling went away.
However, there were other abusive issues, and one of their beautiful daughters ended up dating a man who controlled her and hit her….and she stayed with him far too long, having never learned that male/female relationships are supposed to be honoring/respectful. The sons failed to learn how to rightly deal with anger; one of them was in prison before he was even out of his teens. Another has battled mental illness.
Just a heads up. If you stay, the children – and you – at the very least, need other healthy environments on a regular basis.